Status Update-- Where I Vanished

Ok, for starters... yes, I am still alive. I've spent the last 10 months addicted to Shin Megami Tensei: IMAGINE, an MMORPG based on the popular franchise that included the spinoff Persona series. Normally I have no interest in MMO gaming, but this was an exception based on the fact I'm a huuuge fan of Shin Megami Tensei. Having never played an MMO, I wasn't aware of how addicting they actually are. After 10 long months (that seemed to pass me by faster than I realized), I ended up hitting the highest level in the game (Level 93, which only two other people have achieved), became one of the top PvPers, redefined the way mages are played, created one of the biggest and most popular clans, and became a general "celebrity" amongst the community. None of this was ever my intention; I honestly wanted to be a faceless player who was capable of solo-play... I guess I screwed up when I named my character Royce (named after the female wizard in Lunar: The Silver Star Story). I recently looked up the meaning of the name, and "Royce" apparently means "famous." Oops. Anyway, long story short, the gameplay is phenomenal, but the game is extremely cash shop reliant. Don't expect to get far without dropping some cash. I could go on for hours about the game, so for more info/screens/ranting check out my clan's blog found here.

I plan to start updating Mayonoise again now, so check back when you can.

Remembering Working Designs

For those of you who grew up in the 90's playing video games, you may or may not remember Working Designs. They were a very niche company based out of Redding, CA that specialized in the localization of primarily Japanese RPGs, Side-scrollers and Shmups. President and founder Victor Ireland was one of the few figures in the gaming industry who truly pushed the envelope on his companies releases, and went beyond the necessary steps when localizing the game. Taking a play on Spinal Tap, the company's slogan was "Our Games Go To 11!", which couldn't have been more accurate.

Established in 1986, Working Designs wouldn't actually release their first batch of games until 1991. Due to the cost of cartridge production, they initially started out with games for the TurboGrafx and Turbo-CD consoles, such as Cadash, Exile, Parasol Stars, and Cosmic Fantasy 2. Eventually, the lack of support for the console in America and the lifespan and of the TurboGrafx came to a standstill, and Vic had to take his company to a new platform: Sega CD.

1993 saw the North American release of Lunar: The Silver Star for the Sega CD. I personally consider this (and it's sequel Lunar 2: Eternal Blue) to be two of the most essential RPGs of all time. Upon it's release, we were treated to thing never before seen in a role playing game; voice acting, animated cutscenes, a full score soundtrack (thanks to the Sega CD's Redbook Audio), and a cast of colorful characters that truly developed and grew as the game progressed. Working Designs' release of the game included a good amount of humor too, slightly less ironic and tongue-in-cheek as Earthbound, and more focused on pop-culture references. It was again, another element that hadn't really been seen in a video game at this point in time. Other cult classics such at Vay and Popful Mail saw American soil thanks to Working Designs as well.

Eventually the Sega Saturn and Sony Playstation came along, and with that came Working Designs and their renegade style of translation and publishing. Albert Odyssey, Magic Knight Rayearth, and Dragon Force were just a few titles that they released for the Saturn. The Playstation seemed to fare the best for Working Designs intentions with games like Vanguard Bandits, Silhouette Mirage, Alundra, Elemental Gearbolt, RayStorm, and RayCrisis. I believe Working Design's finest hour was with the releases of Lunar: The Silver Star Story Complete, Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete, and Arc The Lad Collection. They were like nothing ever before to come out in the U.S., with a Japanese style omake box filled with all kinds of goodies like maps, soundtracks, character standees, a necklace and a hardbound instruction booklet. It was a fanboy's dream to own one of these, and it truly displayed how much time and effort Working Designs put into their work. It was around this time they began running into some issues and backing themselves into a corner... their packaging was extremely expensive, which lead to higher cost to the customer (I remember spending $80 on Lunar 2!), and games were constantly being delayed. Magic Knight Rayearth was the final game released on the Saturn in 1998. Arc The Lad Collection had numerous unmet release dates, finally coming out in 2002... well into the lifespan of the Playstation 2.

Here's a prime example of how truly awesome their releases were.

Working Designs did very little on the PS2, with Gungriffon Blaze, Slipheed: The Lost Planet, and Growlanser Generations (another game complete with omake box and a plethora of extra goodies), which was their final release in 2004. A good majority of 2005 was spent attempting to get the rights from Sony to distribute the latest Goemon title, until August 2005 when Working Designs finally closed it's doors. It was a very sad day in the gaming industry. Sure, companies like Atlus, Square-Enix, XSEED and Nippon Ichi Software and others are still localizing J-RPGs for American audiences, but it's not the same. I remember personally talking to Victor Ireland via e-mail in my early teens and we'd joke around about how I wanted to work for him, even if it meant being his coffee boy. We'd talk about our favorite moments in Lunar, or other games that we'd like to see stateside, etc. It was really special that he went out of his way to talk to the fans... something that you won't ever see today. The magic that Working Designs emitted has unfortunately faded, and I am now very jaded in light of recent events (such as Nintendo's lack of interest in the Mother fanbase, when it's clearly huge and ready to empty it's deep pockets for the sake of the game). It's nice to sit back and at least have the memories of what things used to be like.

Vic started up a new company in 2006 called Gaijinworks, but there has been no announcements from them whatsoever... the website's been merely a title page for almost 3 years. However, there's rumor that Gaijinworks is going to be making an announcement within the coming months. We can only wait patiently. If I could sum up Victor Ireland, I'd say he was the Frank Zappa of the video game industry. Does humor belong in RPGs? Why, yes... it most certainly does. He did more for gaming than most people realize. Without Working Designs, we wouldn't have seen the likes of games such as Disgaea, or the Persona/Shin Megami Tensei series and there certainly would be no Katamari Damacy.

I hate to be so stuck in the past with gaming, but there's really not been a whole lot of good lately... and the graphics-intensive era we live in saddens me to no end.

Convenience Stores Are Not The Grocery.

What's the deal with people who shop for their groceries at Walgreens? I see it all the time! This lady in front of me today had an entire basket full of groceries... cheese, ham, milk, bread, EZ-Mac, etc. She was clearly quite poor too, judging by the meth-sores covering her face and her emaciated figure.


I wanted to educate her on the fact that HEB was literally ACROSS THE STREET. You'll spend more money on low-grade food at a convenience store than you will at the actual grocery on better items.


This also slows down the process of "convenience" for everyone else in line, who's buying a mere one or two items. Meanwhile, the poor cashier develops carpal tunnel syndrome because you don't know how to shop for bargains.


Do yourself a favor; go to the grocery. You can spend all that extra money you saved on that sweet, sweet crystal meth that your body needs in excess amounts.


FAILURE.

Brainiac: Like Nirvana, But With Robots.

Let's take the way-back machine to 1992. Dayton, Ohio... enter Brainiac. Perhaps you haven't heard any of their music, but you've definitely heard their influence on today's music. Discordant guitar. Analog Moog mixed with spazzy punk rock. The use of a vocoder. Their unique brand of music really paved the way for quite a few of the indie artists you hear today like Six Finger Satellite, The Chinese Stars, Thunderbirds Are Now!, Trans Am, The Outline, The Dismemberment Plan, Les Savy Fav, etc. They generated quite a bit of buzz, and were one of the most prolific acts on Canadian label Touch & Go Records.

In 1997, Brainiac found themselves on the cusp of a big break and were on the way to success, when their singer Timmy Taylor tragically died in a crash. The band was in pre-production of their fourth full-length album, which was to come out on major label Interscope Records.

The group disbanded completely shortly after Timmy's death. Guitarist John Schmersal went of to form the group Enon who are definitely worth your time. Bassist Monasterio started a band recently as well called Model/Actress. I haven't heard but one track from them so far, but from what other Brainiac fans have told me they're fairly good.

So here's Brainiac. The last album here is actually a collection of old live and demo recordings, some of which were to be worked into their fourth album. Everything's very rough. I actually have yet to see this collection posted anywhere yet, so it might be exclusive to here for now. I don't even remember where I got this material initially, as it was several years ago. Hope you enjoy!

As usual, click the album art to download the album.
SMACK BUNNY BABY














Smack Bunny Baby -Tracklisting

1. "I, Fuzzbot"
   
2. "Ride"
3. "Smack Bunny Baby"
4. "Martian Dance Invasion"
5. "Cultural Zero"
6. "Brat Girl"
7. "Hurting Me"
8. "I Could Own You"
9. "Anesthetize"
   
10. "Draag"
11. "Get Away"
    

BONSAI SUPERSTAR












Bonsai Superstar -Tracklisting

1. "Hot Metal Dobermans"
   
2. "Hands of the Genius"
   
3. "Fucking With the Altimiter"
   
4. "Radio Apeshot"
5. "Transmissions After Zero"
   
6. "Juicy (On a Cadillac)"
   
7. "Flypaper"
   
8. "Sexual Frustration"
9. "To the Baby-Counter"
10. "You Wrecked My Hair"
11. "Meathook Manicure"
    
12. "Status: Choke"
    
13. "Collide"

INTERNATIONALE (SINGLE)













Internationale - Tracklisting

1. "Go Freaks Go"
2. "Silver Iodine"
3. "Simon Says"
   

HISSING PRIGS IN STATIC COUTURE













Hissing Prigs In Static Couture - Tracklisting

1. "Indian Poker, Pt. 3"
2. "Pussyfootin’"
3. "Vincent Come on Down "
4. "This Little Piggy"
5. "Strung"
6. "Hot Seat Can’t Sit Down"
7. "The Vulgar Trade"
8. "Beekeeper’s Maxim "
   
9. "Kiss Me U Jacked Up Jerk"
   
10. "70 kg man "
    
11. "Indian Poker, Pt. 2 "
12. "Nothing Ever Changes"
    
13. "I Am a Cracked Machine"

ELECTRO-SHOCK FOR PRESIDENT













Electro-Shock For President - Tracklisting

1. "Fresh New Eyes"
   
2. "Flash Ram"
3. "Fashion 500"
4. "The Turnover "
   
5. "For My Beloved"
   
6. "Mr. Fingers

UNRELEASED DEMOS









Unreleased Demos - Tracklisting

1. "Ride"
2. "Hurting Me"
3. "Simon Says"
4. "Unknown Song #1"
5. "Unknown Song #2"
6. "Hot Metal Dobermans"
7. "Get Away"
8. "Anesthetize"
9. "Unknown Song #3"
10. "Unknown Song #4"
11. "Go!"
12. "Empty Faces"
13. "I Can't Stare At You"
14. "Last Demo Song #4"
    

Mother 3 Possibly Hitting U.S.?

Disclaimer: You're probably going to see quite a bit of Mother/Earthbound coverage from me on here. I'll apologize in advance.


Any sort of new for a Mother fan these days is good news. Recently, Siliconera had the chance to interview Brownie Brown President Shinichi Kameoka (Brownie Brown was one of the core developers in making Mother 3). During the interview, the topic of Mother 3 and it's relationship with the west was discussed. Kameoka stated, "If we were asked to make one [a DS version of Mother 3], then we would definitely like for fans abroad to play the game.” A statement like that is the first step in the right direction I've seen from anyone concerning Mother 3. It's been nearly three years since Mother 3 was released in Japan, and we're slowly but surely approaching the ten year mark of the original Mother 3's cancellation on the Nintendo 64... and that game was announced in 1996, only a year after Mother 2 (Earthbound came out).

Is this the future?

This is the kind of announcement that fuels the Earthbound community. However, our toes have been stepped on a countless amount of times, with our hopes and dreams taken from us by one Reggie Fils-Aime who enjoys raping them behind the dumpster at NOA (theory). It's hard to believe something like this until something else actually happens. The good folks over at Starmen.net have luckily kept the fanbase alive (and growing stronger daily) while Nintendo seems to care little to none about marketing their own in-house franchise. It's semi-understandable, considering Earthbound's poor sales in the U.S. when it was released, but they have themselves to blame for that. What do you really expect when your marketing campaign is "This game stinks."?

Mother fans are hardcore. Here's my personal collection.

Starmen.net did everything they could in getting Mother 3 stateside (and they worked just as hard to get Earthbound released on the Virtual Console), and we have yet to see anything. Nintendo knows the fanbase is here, and I have a feeling Brownie Brown does too. They're practically asking Nintendo to approach them about re-releasing the game on the DS. I certainly hope that the efforts of the fan translation don't come back to bite us in the ass.

Let's cross our fingers.

Black Eyes: The One Without Fergi

Black Eyes were a band that pretty much fell under the radar. They had a very interesting setup consisting of two drummers, two bassists and a guitar player, all of whom would play percussion as well. Occasionally a synth blast would be throw in here or there, mixed with the dual vocals of bassist Hugh McElroy (monotone) and guitarist Daniel McCormick (chaotic). The way they mix sounds is very unique, adding an element to their music that I have yet to hear from any other artist. The two basses form a wall of sound that seems to flesh itself out around the rest of the mix with their parts being somewhat similar, but with different strumming patterns and note variations. The drummers essentially compliment each other in the same fashion. It's something you have to hear to truly appreciate. By their second full-length, they added saxophone and other brass instruments into the mix, giving them a more free-form-avant-garde jazz sound. They unfortunately broke up a few months before their second album was released.

To download the albums, simply click the album art.

SHUT UP, I NEVER

Shut Up, I Never - Tracklisting

1. "Some Boys"
2. "Shut Up, I Never"
3. "Have Been Murdered Again"

BLACK EYES

Black Eyes - Tracklisting

1. "Someone Has His Fingers Broken"
2. "A Pack of Wolves"
3. "Yes, I Confess"
4. "On the Sacred Side"
5. "Nine"
6. "Speaking in Tongues"
7. "Deformative"
8. "King's Dominion"
9. "Day Turns Night"
10. "Letter to Raoul Peck"

COUGH (2004)

Cough -Tracklisting

1. "Cough, Cough"
2. "Eternal Life"
3. "False Positive"
4. "Drums"
5. "Scrapes and Scratches"
6. "Fathers of Daughters"
7. "Holy of Holies"
8. "Commencement"
9. "Spring Into Winter"
10. "Another Country"
11. "Meditation"

New Super Mario Bros: Apparently The Most Original Title They Could Possibly Think Of

I recently picked up a Nintendo DS (again... third one I've owned) and I've been loving every minute of it. It's a real treat to have games like Chrono Trigger completely portable, or games of epic proportions like Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia and Portrait of Ruin, and the infinite playability of Disgaea shrunk down for the greatest time-killer RPG ever. The World Ends With You is easily my favorite game for the system, and I highly recommend playing it if you're an RPG fan... heck, even if you're not an RPG fan I'd suggest it. It's a very original game that it utilizes all of the functions the DS has to offer. Don't even get me started on Contra 4. That game grabs you by the balls and calls you Nancy.

I've been really excited to play New Super Mario Bros., and it was one of the main reasons I wanted to pick the system up in the first place. I would always end up picking something else up in it's stead, because in my mind I kept saying "It's always gonna be on the shelf, it's one of the killer apps on the system, so you can always pick it up later." Everyone talks about it all the time. It's the first original 2D Mario adventure since Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins which came out in 1992(!), which is pretty crazy when you think about it.

So I made the mistake of picking up the entire Super Mario Bros. Super Show! series on DVD. It's 52 episodes of racial slurs for Italians mixed with the horrible acting of Captain Lou Albana as Mario Mario... needless to say I enjoy the show even more now than I did as a child. It's beyond entertaining to watch two grown men dressed up like the Mario and Luigi make complete fools out of themselves. It's hard to believe it was the number one rated kids show in the country when it was on.

So upon watching this series for a good month, I got the itch to play all the Mario games I had. About six months ago I gave myself the arduous task of completing Super Mario Bros. 3 in it's entirety; no warp whistles, no skipping levels, no flying through the hard levels with a P-Wing, etc. It was quite difficult, and a little stressful at times (I had 40-something lives going into World 8 and I only had 1 life left when I got to Bowser), but it was an accomplishment nonetheless (and something most people hadn't done before). I didn't really feel like playing though SMB3 again at the moment, and I'd beaten Super Mario World until I was blue in the face (I used to have two cartridges of it, with both of them with 100% completion on all 3 files). SMB2 (Or Super Mario USA for you hardcore gamers) didn't sound like too much fun either. That's the one game I REALLY have to be in the mood to play, and I feel doesn't stand the test of time like the other games do. I really wanted to play Super Mario All-Stars for The Lost Levels, and I wouldn't mind playing the updated versions of SMB and SMB3, but I didn't feel like going on eBay just to get them... I think Gamestop should still sell old-school games, but apparently there's no market for that now (whatever). I ended up deciding it was time to play New Super Mario Bros. I'd waited long enough to pick it up, so I bit the Bullet Bill and went to go find it.


Everywhere was sold out.


I couldn't believe it. I'd understand if EVERYONE ELSE in San Antonio had been watching the Super Mario Bros. Super Show! too and got the urge to pick it up, but I was the only one doing that... I spent a couple weeks trying to track the game down, and eventually a new shipment came in to my local Gamestop. I was extremely excited when I found it, and raced home to play it. If only I had known the epic disappointment I was in for.

SHOW ME THE POWER-UPS

If there's one thing that's always exciting about a new Mario game, it's the crazy new abilities and power-ups Nintendo puts into each game. We actually see some old Super Mario 64 moves resurface, such as the triple jump, the wall jump and the ground pound. I actually never found any use for the triple jump once in the game. The first time I did it was on accident, and it ended up killing me. You never really seem to have enough room to pull it off (as it takes a healthy running start to begin) and it seems like an unnecessary addition. The ground pound is fun and the fact you can use it on multi-coin block to receive a power-up as well is pretty cool, but I feel the old spin-jump from Super Mario World would have sufficed. And now for the power-ups:

It's your typical fare for the first three power-ups; the Super Mushroom, the Fire Flower, and the Starman. If you're not sure what those do then I don't know how you've made it this far... but I guess I'll explain them anyway. The Super Mushroom turns Mario into Super Mario, which is essentially a bigger version of himself. Can I go on a small tangent here and ask the question, what is Mario's real size? Is the Super Mario version his real size, or the tiny one? Did Bowser cast a spell on him that shrank him, or is everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom 12 feet tall? I've never understood it. Moving on, the Fire Flower gives Mario the ability to shoot fireballs from his fingers. Best power-up ever made. The Starman is your typical platformer invincibility item that comes with it's very own mega-pump-up-you-can't-kill-me-I'm-unbeatable anthem.

Then we have the new power-ups; the Mega Mushroom, the Mini Mushroom, and the Blue Koopa Shell. First there's the Mega Mushroom, which turns Mario into a Godzilla-esque version of himself, taking up the entire screen and kills everything in one hit. It's like the Starman on steroids. The Mini-Mushroom shrinks Mario down to about 8 pixels and makes his jumps less prone to gravity, which is a little hard to control. He can access hidden areas while "under the influence" that are only available to pint-sized plumbers. With that said though, it's one hit and you're dead, so you have to be extra careful... a lot of those hidden areas are near the end of a level. Finally, there's the Blue Koopa Shell, which Mario wears on his back and can slide around with. I personally don't care for this power-up too much. You need a decent running start for it to activate, and it essentially turns Mario into a much-less-fun version of Sonic the Hedgehog. You'll bounce off the walls for hours and it's really hard to control. Again, there's only a few occasions where you'll be given access to it, and it's yet another pointless addition.

HOLY !@#$ THIS GAME LOOKS AWESOME

The game starts out really strong... minus the fact that Baby Bowser (aka the shittiest bad-guy ever) is the main antagonist, the game looks pretty awesome. Graphically, the 2.5D looks amazing on the DS, and you feel like you're in for a big treat. Level 1-1 is quite possibly one of the most entertaining levels I've played in a SMB game. You get the Mega Mushroom and you plow through the level, get a haul of 1-Up Mushrooms for doing so, jump on the flagpole and think "Damn, this game is siiiick!" And it is, for about 20 minutes. Then the problems start to bleed into the picture and it slowly sucks the fun out of the game. The only time you can save the game is when you beat a fortress, the castle at the end of each world, or if you shell out some of your precious star coins to open up the path to a hidden Mushroom House or secret level. This forces you to play the game in a straightforward direction. Remember how you could re-enter a fortress in Super Mario World, beat it again, and you could save? Not anymore. You have to keep pressing on. Remember when you could save after beating a Ghost House? Not anymore. You have to keep pressing on.

About the time you near the end of the first world, you notice something seems a little off about the controls. You end up sliding around everywhere, almost like you're always on ice. You've managed to commit suicide a few times by accidentally wall-jumping yourself into a pit, with no way of saving yourself. Maybe if you had the Raccoon Tail, or the Cape Feather or the Rabbit Ears from previous games you could float your way back to safety, but instead you die because all you've got is this stupid Blue Koopa Shell that doesn't do anything. It's bullshit... but you keep playing. You keep thinking "Come on, this is fucking MARIO! It's gonna be awesome!"


Then you get to Bowser, and it looks like we're going old-school and destroying the bridge and throwing Bowser into the lava like the original SMB. You can do that, the fireballs or get stupid-retarded if you have a Mega Mushroom in your reserve item space and just plow Mario's big floppy dick into Bowser's face killing him instantly. When Bowser falls into the lava, he goes out a la the Crocomire in Super Metroid, popping in and out of the lava becoming mere skeleton before sinking to his demise. Congratulations, you can now turn the game off.

ALL IS NOT WELL IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM

The rest of the game seems like it was completely rushed. They throw in gimmicks here and there that robs what fun was had from World 1. I almost stopped playing when I reached World 5, the Ice World. I already briefly touched base on my disdain for how everything feels a little slippery... amplify that tenfold here. It's nearly unplayable. Beyond 1-1, I found no use for the Mega Mushroom. You'll get it at the most inopportune times, where it will actually keep you from advancing in the level, because Mario is too big to get through a gap, so you have to sit there for 5-10 seconds and wait for the ability to wear off in order to make progress. I hate that Blue Koopa Shell more than anything. It's not even remotely fun to use, especially since it's so hard to come by when I actually do have it, I don't have enough time to actually get used to the controls. I usually end up getting fed up with a level and just turning the game off only to remember that I didn't beat a fortress or a castle. I can't spend star coins to turn the fucking game off... which should have been an option. I'd like to stick those star coins right up Mario's ass. It's just another gimmick they added for this game, where each level has 3 hidden star coins for you to collect... which is just an attempt to squeeze some more screen time for your old pal Mario. The bosses are very bland and boring, and all can be killed without needing any sort of trial-and-error attempts. They jam the 1-Ups down your throat with this game too. There's about 9,845 coins in each level, there's the one-up mini-game in the Mushroom Houses, the red coins, the Starmen with multiple enemies surrounding their locations, the stupid Mega Mushroom has a meter that can fill up... and if it does, get ready for 1-Ups to shit from the sky. If you hit the top of the flagpole at the end of the level, guess what? You get another fucking 1-Up. I think it's impossible to lose all your lives in this game... especially since the lives you have are saved when you save the game too.

FINAL SCORE: C-

This game could have been it. The definitive Mario game for a new generation. It starts out promising, but poor level design, sloppy controls, uninspired power-ups and a myriad of gimmicks really set this one back. Maybe I'm just nitpicking... maybe I'm one of the few people who actually sees beyond the hype that surrounds the game. Either way, it's a poor attempt at a Mario game. Play it if you must, but avoid it if you can. If you need a platformer on the DS, I'd recommend picking up Yoshi's Island DS instead.

David Cronenberg and the Fusion of Matter

Does anyone remember David Cronenberg's 1986 remake of The Fly? It's easily one of his best films. The gratuitous violence doesn't hurt the entertainment value of the film, which is a rarity in today's day. Look at The Hills Have Eyes remake... it was tasteless shock-violence that went beyond over the top. It was the only movie I have almost walked out of in my life. I like some pretty gross stuff, but when you're dealing with a girl getting raped by a radioactive retard, a baby crying with a gun pointed at it's head, people screaming for their lives, the mother getting beaten senselessly and the father being burned alive... it's a little much on the senses. My stance is pretty much the same on the Saw films. I don't really care to see a man almost drown in pig entrails, or witness a girl have her ribcage ripped open while she's suspended from the ceiling... after she just tried getting a key out of a vat of acid with her arm that nearly melted off. The people who write this kind of violence are slightly depraved. You had a classic with Se7en, but you went a little too nutty after that.

Anyway, back to The Fly. Stunning visuals, great special effects and the shocker violence was just right. Do you recall how awesome the telepods were? I've always wanted science to get on that technology. I was never really interested in the actual teleportation of matter (but maybe if it were real my opinion would be different), but the fusion process of the "secondary element." Imagine throwing two random things into the telepod and getting one completely new thing in the end. What if the "surprise element" were taken out and everything functioned completely normal (or in some instances better), and there were no drawbacks whatsoever.

Just think... throw in a PS3 and an Xbox360, and you'd have the most amazing game system ever. Or what if you could do that with music? Wanna hear what Smash Mouth would have sounded like if they were Cannibal Corpse? Bam. There ya go. Asian cuisine with a pizza. Presto-change-o, you've got a General Tso's 'Zza.

Convince two beautiful women into the pods?

Science! Where are you?

Welcome To Mayonoise!

This blog is going to be a mixed bag of things. I'll be throwing in some amusing anecdotes, as well as giving people some insight to my unique outlook on the world. I'm also dedicating a portion of it to all outlets of media; music, film, video games, literature, concerts I've attended, etc.

Anything within those realms that I think you should either drop what your doing and experience or completely avoid will be covered here. I'll be giving everything a grade as well, once I come up with a rating system of my own I'll go into further detail on that. I might throw on some of my favorite albums as well for everyone's enjoyment. Eventually I'd like to get to the point where I'm uploading some videos as well. We'll see where this goes in due time.